Superficial Joy

I have been in the United States since late June but I have been so exhausted I haven't posted a thing. I spent a few days in Boise, then a month in Texas and now I'm back in Boise until the 7th of August.  The rest has been fantastically nourishing for my body and my soul. I wanted to make sure I was in Boise for at least one Saturday so I could run with the "running girls", and I got to do that today! A while back I wrote about the Scuba Squad, my amazing tribe in the UAE who taught me so much about being in relationship with other women, travelling with others and loving each other despite  because of our differences. The women I run with in Boise are equally amazing. I met most of them about the 3rd weekend I was living in Boise back in September of 2004. My then-husband was still in Montana fighting fire and I was living in the Extended Stay America  on Vista by myself while our apartment was getting ready. I signed up for a race that the Forest Service used to ...

 I went to sleep around midnight with trepidation that the ceasefire would actually take affect. When I awoke I checked the Red Alert app and saw this: As you can see, the rockets kept coming all the way up until 2 a.m. but there have still be none since then (it's now 3 PM). I feel amazing today! The difference in my mind and soul is stark and the  I plan to go on a run today, into the park, far  from home (well, 2 miles away). Now that the threat is gone I can really feel how much the anxiety was permeating everything. Always in the back or forefront of my mind was where I would go if I heard a siren. I cannot imagine how awful it would be to live in Gaza where they do not have bomb shelters and a siren system and an Iron Dome protecting them. My heart hurts even thinking about it. Walking to yoga today the streets were back to normal for a Friday afternoon. Our instructor, Talia, worked us hard to "sweat out ick and anxiety" of the last two weeks". I'm just ab...

 The Red Alert app is pinging away, but I just read this: We were told around 7 PM that we would be teaching online again tomorrow. People at the gym wondered if we would get attacks in Tel Aviv again since the violence, they say, often gets worse right before the ceasefire. I guess we'll find out. Time for bed for me.

 There have been no rockets in Tel Aviv for I think 3 days...maybe 4. Since the last round, which was in the middle of the night, I find myself less and less jumpy. For the first two days literally everything  sounded like a siren firing up. The streets were super quiet. Lots of businesses were and still are closed. A few restaurants were open. My favorite cupcake shop ( Red Velvet - vegan offerings on Thursdays and Fridays) remains closed. However, every day a little bit more life returns to the busy street where I live. I still haven't gone out for a run, which at first was the obvious fear of being outside during a siren--I've done that and it is scary. I'm not going to run in the park until this is over but I  could run on the streets where shelter is always nearby. Only in the last few days have I started walking with a few friends who live nearby. My gym has been holding classes regularly (with the exception of one night of cancellations) and I've been going regu...

It is now 1 PM on Tuesday afternoon with no sirens for a day and a half here in Tel Aviv, though not so in the south near the Gaza border. Last night around 6 PM, Hamas threatened to attack Tel Aviv again. Our little group of friends were together at someone's house for dinner when we got the news. Shortly thereafter we all went home, essentially to wait. No rockets came overnight and none so far today. We are teaching virtually again today and just got word we will be virtual Wednesday and Thursday as well. Although teaching under stress is challenging, but I find comfort in the familiarity of being with the students and having something external and neutral to focus, if only for an hour.  Sleep has made a world of difference to my mental health. After the attack two night ago some switch inside of me flipped and I realized/accepted/assumed that I will  wake up if the sirens wail and that there is absolutely nothing I can do but follow the rules and pray. Since then I've been...

 After the rocket attack yesterday afternoon, perhaps needless to say, I did not go out of my building. Sometime in the late afternoon Hamas said they would target Tel Aviv at midnight. The waiting began, although this voice inside if me tells me I "should be productive and work on my scrapbook" or "it's just time alone". I'm not so sure that voice should be heeded. I spent most of the afternoon on Zoom with various groups until I got a text from my dad around 7:30 asking if I wanted to Zoom. Of course I did! We talked for about 2 hours--this is not normal, but I suspect both of us didn't mind staying on the line to pass the time. He gave me a tour of the parts of the house that got remodeled after the winter storm a few months ago [they live in Austin and were without power for almost 5 days in February; they were without water for longer, I think].  My mom said hi; even my brother  briefly popped into the screen to say that he was always worried about ...

 It is 1:52 P.M. and we just had sirens here in Tel Aviv. So scary. Again, everyone in the building collected in the lower part of the stairwell. It is a beautiful, blue sky day in which I was considering going for a walk to the park. Some of my friends were out--park, beach, just home from a walk. Everyone is home now. 2:09. Got interrupted by more sirens. The booms were really loud today. Here are some audio/visual displays.  This is me getting out of my apartment and going into the stairwell. I forgot to turn of the recording so you can hear what people talk about during a rocket siren, if you can speak Hebrew! The ping you hear is the Red Alert app notifying of rocket attacks.   These three are from Twitter after the first attack. Impact in Tel Aviv pic.twitter.com/cQ0LOVf8Hp — 🇵🇸 Ali 🇱🇧 (@allushiii_new) May 15, 2021 This was taken by someone I know from her stairwell. Remember that the people down south are living with this more or less constantly. Prayer greatl...