What doesn't kill you makes you stronger #Bravery #HereWeGoAgain #InternationalTeaching
I had a brief interlude in Dallas, my unofficial port of entry and exit in the United States.
Aside from lounging in front of the tv in "soft clothes", playing games and eating pork, here are the highlights:
A year ago I left Dallas around the same time but utterly paralyzed with fear. The drive to DFW was amazingly anxious. We took a selfie, said our goodbyes and I went on my merry [read: terrifying] way. I felt that fear of going off the high dive when you don't really want to mixed with a fear of being forgotten, seasoned with a little worry about being laughed at.
The economy seat I was in was so claustrophobic I asked for an upgrade to Business Class. I would have gladly paid the $2000, but there were no seats available. The terror continued as I walked down a tunneled, air conditioned stairway to exit the plane and when the humid, hot air hit me I wondered what I had done to myself.
A completely cavernous feeling settled in my stomach. I felt ungrounded from about the time I got in line at the airport more or less until about the time I got my new job.
What a difference a year makes! I was only slightly nervous on the way to the airport this time, and mostly about getting through security okay. I'm sure it was partly because I was going on a tour through Germany with a friend from Idaho first, but it is a LOT because I know what to expect this time. I already know how to get a cab from the airport and where to rent a car and buy groceries. I have friends in Abu Dhabi that will be happy to see me. I don't have to start from scratch.
Mostly, though, I proved to myself that I can do it. Last summer, I wasn't so sure. In October I was pretty positive I couldn't. But here I am, a year later....better. More confident. I didn't know I could do about a million things I did this year. As Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What does not kill you makes you stronger." I am stronger.
If I can move to the Middle East by myself, I can do anything.
Aside from lounging in front of the tv in "soft clothes", playing games and eating pork, here are the highlights:
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| I was collected in my aunt's new car! |
The economy seat I was in was so claustrophobic I asked for an upgrade to Business Class. I would have gladly paid the $2000, but there were no seats available. The terror continued as I walked down a tunneled, air conditioned stairway to exit the plane and when the humid, hot air hit me I wondered what I had done to myself.
A completely cavernous feeling settled in my stomach. I felt ungrounded from about the time I got in line at the airport more or less until about the time I got my new job.
What a difference a year makes! I was only slightly nervous on the way to the airport this time, and mostly about getting through security okay. I'm sure it was partly because I was going on a tour through Germany with a friend from Idaho first, but it is a LOT because I know what to expect this time. I already know how to get a cab from the airport and where to rent a car and buy groceries. I have friends in Abu Dhabi that will be happy to see me. I don't have to start from scratch.
Mostly, though, I proved to myself that I can do it. Last summer, I wasn't so sure. In October I was pretty positive I couldn't. But here I am, a year later....better. More confident. I didn't know I could do about a million things I did this year. As Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What does not kill you makes you stronger." I am stronger.
If I can move to the Middle East by myself, I can do anything.
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