Meet the Scuba Squad #ScubaSquad

One of my goals when I moved to the UAE was to get scuba diving certified. Like most things in my life, the opportunity fell into my lap.

On my first day at my new school when I was introduced to Kelli, the teacher in the classroom right next door.  During that first conversation she asked if I wanted to join her and some other women in getting their diving certification in the next month or so (God doesn't miss a beat, does he?). I felt pretty certain I was in the right place.

This group, which has become known (via our WhatsApp group) as the Scuba Squad, has changed my life.

• How to have FUN! I was also so serious in life (how many times I heard, "Joy, just relax!")  Fun seemed like something for those born into it. I was always busy trying to figure out why I felt so miserable and battling what I perceived to be the injustice of my existence (How different that perception is now!). Even into last year, which was emotionally draining on every level, fun was just beginning to be introduced. As the year went on, the "Oprah book" part of my life came to a close. Yay!!
• How to travel with other people (who are not my parents or my ex-husband). Meaning I don't take my own car so I can escape if I get too uncomfortable. Which means I have to talk and participate and wait on people and ask for what I need and let them wait on me if I need something. This was so anxiety-producing in the past I just opted to do things alone.
• That travelling with other people can be fun!!  It is not just arguing about where to stop for lunch or who crossed the invisible line in the back seat or standing in a big group waiting for someone to be decisive on where to eat lunch. It can actually be enjoyable to travel with other people! 
• They keep inviting me. In fact, I seem to be an integral part of the group. We have come to be known at the diving shop as, "Kelli, Shelley, Joy and Liz." It rolls off the tongue--try it! 
• I love myself more! Being around these women who are okay in their own skin is contagious. 
• And you know what else? They like me. Apparently, just as I am (to quote Bridget Jones). With all my faults and shiny parts. 

I have found "my people": others who love to travel; can fly off for the weekend on short notice, who will fly off for the weekend on short notice; who don't mind being uncomfortable in new surroundings. It is easy to make friends over here because almost literally everybody is in the same boat (the expat population of the UAE is 88.52%, according to Global Media Insight). At some level, we are all in need of connection and a sense of family. We've all been new to the country and we remember how scary, exciting and lonely it can be. This makes many people welcoming to new people (it makes others not make friends, but I don't know those people).

In Boise, Idaho, I went to work, the gym and home. Many a weekend I lay on my back room sofa feeling sorry for myself, wishing I was with somebody doing something. I could not seem to make new friends or find people to go on trips with. Of course I had friends, but many have kids and husbands or were not interested in the same things.  And, I could've gone by myself. But camping by myself in Idaho did not seem as appealing as going to Normandy for the weekend alone.

As I write this I realize that maybe my loneliness and left-out feelings didn't have very much to do with where I was. Maybe it had to do with my mindset. For sure I chose to feel sorry for myself, and certainly I could've gone out more by myself or made more phone calls to my friends. And yet, there seems to just be more people here willing to do the same things. It's probably a combination of the two.

All I know for sure is this: I am so grateful for these new friends that have taught me how to have fun!