First Day of School in the 2nd year: WOW!

My second first day of school in the UAE is done. It could not have been more different than last year. In fact, the week I have been back has been massively different. What a difference a year makes! 

First day, looking VERY teacher-y

Last year at this time I was in a constant state of hyper vigilance. I was in absolute shock at being in the Middle East; I was overwhelmed by all the work there was to do; constantly afraid, I was on the defensive and irrationally felt like people (like taxi drivers, sales clerks, random people walking along the street) were out to get me. Everything here takes forever and requires a tremendous amount of patience to work through, and I met all of those obstacles with fear masked as anger, irritation and entitlement.

I was restless and dis-easy down at the core of my soul. I couldn't sleep and to quote Cher from Clueless, I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness. Few times in my life have I had such an awful feeling that something was going to be bad, and it is right on every time. My first day was plagued with fear and insecurity and a colossal sensation of impending doom. The night before I could barely sleep from that kidney-draining anxiety that didn't let up until mid-December.

However, 

from the moment I landed in Abu Dhabi this year I have been the exact opposite. Some of it is obvious: now I know my way around so it is easy to get from the airport to home and set up my rental car. What was different was my reaction to my new apartment (I had to move over the summer) that had not been cleaned again after it had been painted. But I was relaxed and confident and grown up and I just started emailing work and texting my cleaning service and it all got sorted out by the end of the day. 

Throughout the week I have been present, patient and particularly aware that I am not the only person around. That sense of entitlement has been replaced by a spirit of helpfulness. I find myself doing such foreign gestures as letting cars in front of me and holding elevators for people. Hyper vigilance has been replaced with an awareness of all the different people living here together in harmony. I have gone to church twice, which is the same number I times I went in the entirety of last year!

I have an overwhelming sense of calm and serenity. I know that I am taken care of and that I am not alone here, physically or spiritually. At work I rejoined a fantastic department full of support and friends. Instead of working furiously all weekend before my first day, I spent the weekend sleeping, running, watching Netflix and tooling around my apartment. Last night I slept like a baby and had only normal butterflies when I got up this morning. My classes were good and the day held a few butterflies and an abundance of laughter and joy.