If you can't ski, Dive! @DiversDownUAE @PADI #dosomethingthatscaresyou

It's time to celebrate! 

I earned my PADI Open Water Diver certification!

One of the items on my bucket list since I knew I was coming to the UAE has been scuba diving. Imagine my shock when, on my first day of work this semester, the teacher in the classroom next to me invited me to get my certification with her and 2 others in Fujairah, a city in the UAE about 3 1/2 hours from Abu Dhabi. This was definitely a sign that I was in the right place. I rode the fence for a while and I may have waited until the last week to get the 15 hour online portion done. 

The anxiety of doing something new was grand. The last time I felt that was when I arrived in Galway, Ireland alone to begin my Master's program. Coupled with the fear of the unknown was images that old movie The Abyss that always freaked me out. Breathing under water felt claustrophobic even sitting in my living room. I believe in "fake it 'till you make it," though, and when the weekend arrived I went. I could always sit by the pool all weekend if I changed my mind, right? 

During the walk to the dive center that 1st Friday morning I was freaking out. I fantasied sitting by the pool all day and relaxing and justified quitting with the committee in my head. Then I caught myself and remembered what it takes for me to learn new things, at least big things like this: the first time I went rock climbing I had a meltdown hanging on the rope of a 5.4; the first time I hiked [read: walked] to the top of Enchanted Rock I had a meltdown; the first time I did the weather on a fire I had a meltdown. You get the idea.

Alecia and Nico, the awesome instructors

First we got the written stuff out of the way. Then we had to swim 200 meters in freezing cold water [okay, I was the only one that was still cold at the end, but it really WAS cold at the beginning].  Then we learned how to put all the equipment together. I was doing just fine and feeling good about it.

We had 2 instructors for the 4 of us, Alecia and Nico, both of whom were fantastic. My buddy, however, was a diving whiz-kid and was able to watch something once then do it. I, on the other hand, had to watch the rewatch the go underwater and watch 5 times then freak out, surface, and watch it again. Did I mention that was only for clearing the mask, the 3rd skill? I felt so much pressure (self-imposed, I'm sure) that people were waiting on me and overloaded with information that about 45 minutes into the pool session I was done. D. U. N. 

Everyone else in the pool that first weekend.

After surfacing, I announced to everyone that I could thereafter be found on the beach and got out. The instructor prodded me a little but I was having none of it. I have rarely felt so sure about a decision. As we walked back to the equipment shed, Alecia assured me I could come back over time and work on the certification at my own pace and/or one on one. Just right then I had little intention of trying again, but I kept quiet. I made my way to the beach, drank virgin strawberry daiquiris and read my Kindle for the rest of the weekend. It was glorious!

My view for the remainder of the weekend

I had more or less given up on the idea of diving over the next few weeks. I was distracted by spring break and when I did think about continuing the training, I almost hyperventilated at the thought of going underwater again. But one friend wanted to do more training  back in Fujairah and I decided to go along. Again, the pool is always available! This time I did a Discovery Dive. This is where you go to the pool to learn about 3 skills, then dive with a guide by your side the entire time. Perfect! I could test it out and see if I liked it.

I was so nervous on the walk down the beach I kept imagining turning around. Since I was alone, as the girls didn't have to be there until later, I gave myself a pep talk on the walk down. I remembered a few things about myself.

1. I always have a breakdown when I learn something new. The first time I hiked [read: walked] Enchanted Rock in TX I got half way up, sat down, had a good cry, then got up and finished. I was fine after that. This pattern repeated with my first rock climbing assent; the first time I did the weather forecast as a wildland firefighter (I'm pretty sure I freaked out my trainer on that one); the first time I ran 5 miles; the first summer of my Master's degree; the big paper I wrote during the 2nd summer of my Master's degree....well, you get the idea.

2. Although I am more relaxed than ever before in my life, I am anxious [not a news flash for you, I know]. I recognized that my body was freaking out but that my brain could override it. So I just kept walking, forcing my muscles to override my freaking out nervous system. 

3. I thought it might actually turn out okay. I am often nervous and it turns out okay. Even better than I think, actually. I kept walking.

When I walked in I was warmly greeted by the manager who remembered. Immediately I was calm and joined the other 3 people in my class. We watched a video explaining the very basics of diving which appeared to be aimed at a middle school science class. It was perfect for me!!! My anxiety melted away as I gained more and more information. I didn't even mind the other 3 people in the class (what if the instructor forgot me?), suddenly possessed with a new and wonderful ability to relax and let go!

Weekend #2 after day 1.

To make a long story only slightly shorter, I did it! One of the people in my class was only refreshing his skills and he helped me learn how to clear my mask (you will recall that was the skill that had chased me out of the water). I was so happy! Once you do it in the pool, you don't have to do it on the discovery dive!! A few hours later I was diving with Nico and his only student. Maybe that was on purpose because I am rather high maintenance, but I really liked it. It took me about 8 tries to submerge, but eventually made it! I clung to him for dear life and it took some getting used, but I kept remembering what Alecia had said: your job is to just relax and look around. There is no piece of advice more appropriate for me, I don't think. We saw a sea turtle on that first dive! I loved it so much I did another discovery dive the next day.

I was ready to commit to the Open Water course. 3 weeks later was last weekend and I was back. This time I was only nervous about clearing the mask. To my great delight, I had my own private instructor, Nico that had been with our group all along (although he may not have been as happy about this as I was!). What a relief to be without the pressure of other people waiting on me, not to mention the fact that Nico already knew all about my neurotic behaviors. It would also be hard for him to lose me in the water!

What an amazing weekend! Friday we did the pool stuff and one dive; Saturday was the other 3 dives. The pool section with only minimal freaking out and even had a short coffee break when my teeth started chattering (Yes, it was 100° F out. Yes, I know. Now hush up!). I bought some sort of sausage casing to keep me warm. The upside is I fell in love with it and wasn't cold in the pool or the ocean; the down side is that I cannot yet put it on my myself and when I take it off when I take it off because it gets stuck on my head and I get claustrophobic until someone rescues me. Nico assured me I would one day be able to do this myself. And then he made fun of me mercilessly (which did not make me cry anymore, as the meltdown was already out of my system. I refer you to the beginning of the story).

The first dive was only nerve racking because of the [no shocker here] mask clearing thing I had to do. I had mastered it in the pool, but under 20 feet of water seemed much scarier. But into the water and down we went. I must have sat there on the bottom for 10 minutes just breathing. Nico was right in front of me watching the whole time and I felt really safe to take my time. Finally I calmed down and my breathing slowed and I filled me mask with water half way then cleared it. I had to do it twice, but then it was done!

The rest of the dive we got to swim around and look at cool stuff. I was no longer clinging to Nico but rather comfortable swimming on my own. We saw a reef shark on this dive!

Saturday I did 3 dives, 2 of which had skills to be performed and one of those skills on each dive was dealing with the mask. On dive 2 you have to clear the mask after completely flooding it; on the 3rd you take the mask off then put it back on. This was actually easier for me than the full-flood, maybe because I held my nose to force myself to keep breathing, but whatever. It worked.

And so I left Fujairah with my PADI Open Water certification! I still feel like a million bucks! I am so proud of myself for sticking with it. Not only did I overcome a fear, but I have found a pastime I love as much as skiing (and just as expensive, too), and a way to calm myself down and be present. Slow is good underwater. All you can hear is the air coming in and out of the regulator. There is nothing to do but relax and look around.

Just like life.