Superficial Joy

From https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lonely I post a lot about loneliness. I know this. Most of my life has been lonely. As a child I felt disconnected from my parents, and the loneliness never really left me. My brother is 4 years younger than me and we mostly ignored each other growing up. I had a few best friends in grade school, but one moved away after 6th grade, another one and I had a falling out in 8th grade (although I'm happy to report reconciliation at our 10 year high school reunion), and the closest one and I ran in different circles once we hit high school. Consequently I spent all of my time and energy after junior high (the worst years of life for myself and most girls everywhere) desperately trying to overcome a deep feeling of loneliness, but it never seemed to budge. As I grew up I discovered habits and people that gave me temporary relief from the agony of isolation. I also wanted desperately to feel a part of with people. Th...

After two months of taxis I am finally independent! Last Thursday I got my driver's license (a process I'll detail in another post), without which you cannot rent a car in Abu Dhabi.  Ideally, I'd like to live somewhere that is very pedestrian and bike friendly, so the idea of sticking to taxis was sort of appealing to me. You have to walk to all the taxis, right? There are other benefits of taxiing around: someone else is driving and has to pay attention (there are a LOT of car accidents here and people drive like maniacs), you can get current on all your Words with Friends games on the way home from work, it is about the same price for a taxi and a really small rental car, taxis are easy to get overall and will go anywhere. The drawbacks, however, outweigh the benefits. Most are obvious: there is a lot of waiting  for taxis. For example, the street my school is on is not a super busy one for taxis, so we order them and sometimes have to wait more than a few min...

Look where I ran tonight!! It's a Formula 1 racetrack--the Yas Marina Circuit here in Abu Dhabi. I don't know if you can do that in other places, but you can do that here in Abu Dhabi on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday (ladies only) nights until race season starts (which, by the way, is the weekend of November 23rd. If anyone has extra tickets, I'd love to go!!!) I went with 3 other women tonight. I ran, 2 hired bikes and one walked. At each grandstand there is loud music blaring. The kind that's great to exercise to. There were zillions of people there. You can rent a bike here for free. So glad Liz bought this water pack before me--I love it! Bikers on the right going counter-clockwise. Walkers on the left, going clockwise. Don't I look just like my dad here? Goofy smile and all :) I don't think I have EVER been this hot before.

Crying every day. Smiling more each day. Dread most workdays. Eating all the time. Sleeping is getting more. Lonely is declining. Inspiration is increasing. Confidence is growing. Boundaries are improving. Hemlines are dropping. Mall visitations decreasing. Courage is growing. Spending in declining. Christmas is approaching.